Snoop McSneak Goes to Africa

Snoop McSneak Celebrity Magazine has obtained a note that will give its readers a rare look-see into Mr. Pitt’s heart. The note was written by Mr. Pitt to Ms. Jolie on her birthday. We were able to get this note with the use of The Telescopic Lens 9000 and since we saw how the whole thing went down, we are able to give you step by step play of how the events unfolded.



First Mr. Pitt wrote the note….He seemed to be having a hard time expressing what he felt. After the 11th try, he got it. Then he called his Son Maddox, who had been playing on the living room with his Grandpa Pitt and Little Sister Zahara, Grandma Pitt took in the scene with love.



Mr. Pitt handed the note to Maddox, whispered something in his eyes and pointed at Ms. Jolie who had been seating on the couch with Little Shiloh in her arms.



Mr. Pitt stood at the doorway and watched with pride as his little cupid delivered the love note. Maddox handed the note to his mom.



Ms. Jolie opened the note and read it. Since Ms. Jolie had her back to us, we were unable to see her expression.



Mrs. Pitt tapped her husband on the shoulder and they both looked to Ms. Jolie’s direction.



Mrs. Pitt got up and went to Ms. Jolie. She carefully took Shiloh from Ms. Jolie. The older Mr. Pitt taking his cue from his wife picked Zahara up and beckoned for Maddox to come with.



Maddox resisted and said something to his mother…fortunately, we had our Expert Lip Reader with us, Maddox said “Mommy why are you crying?”.



Ms. Jolie, who still had her back to us, said something…fortunately, we also had our Body Language Expert there.



According to our expert, Ms. Jolie said “These are tears of happiness, sweetie. Mommy is very happy” to which Maddox replied “I love you mommy…thank you for giving me two sisters and happy birthday again”



Ms. Jolie hugged Maddox, kissed him on the head and released him. Maddox left the room with his grandparents.



Mr.Pitt and Ms. Jolie were alone in the room…although they weren’t talking, we could tell they were speaking with their eyes.



Unfortunately, Our Eye Language Expert had quit last week…after calling our magazine third rate. He went to work for In Touch Magazine but the Joke is on him…In touch is a wack magazine AND they don’t have the Telescopic Lens 9000. How does he hope to read lips when he can’t see the subjects? We all basked in the knowledge that he will come crawling for his Job.



But that did little to solve the predicament we had found ourselves. Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie were now sending messages in rapid succession…Suddenly, moving like a panther Mr. Pitt was by Ms. Jolie’s side.



She opened her arms to him and he went into them. They held each other for what seemed liked eternity.



They both cried softly as Ms. Jolie whispered “I Love you” over and over again, while Mr. Pitt said “Thank You for giving me life”



When the image through the lenses became blurry, we realized we’d also been crying with the two. So caught up in the moment were we, we lost all sense of Objectivity.



We took a moment to compose ourselves. After reminding ourselves we had to remain cold and detached, we returned to our spying.



ALAS! Instead of the beautiful image we had been looking at, we saw something else. It was man with body built like a tank barreling his way towards us.



We did not need the Body language Expert to tell us it was time to RUN.



At that moment, we had a decision to make…Our Lives or the Telescopic Lens 9000.



Suffice to say, we are here and our Eye Language Expert WILL not be crawling back for his job anytime soon.



Without further ado, we present you with the note that had everyone who’s read it crying like a baby



Darling Angie,

There are things I’d like to say

To you my love on your special day:

I am forever thankful God sent you my way.

Like a gift from up above,

You showed me how it is to feel real love.

I know many mountains we’ve had to climb

And sometimes forever has seemed like a very long time.

Yes, we’ve endured our share of pain,

But together we have so much to gain.

Bigger mountains may lie ahead,

But together there is no hill we can not tread.

So always remember my love for you,

And there is nothing together we can not do.

I’ll be here forever - my love is true.

The person beside me, that would be you.

Brad.



*COPYRIGHT SNOOP MCSNEAKY CELEBRITY MAGAZINE*